Anxiously awaiting...

I cannot believe it's not Friday yet. Seriously, this week is going S-L-O-W-L-Y! My first RE (reproductive endocrinolgist, for those who don't know my acronyms!) appointment is Friday at 10:00. I am ready for a plan, ready for some answers, ready to get pregnant, finally!

On that "finally note"... I'm trying to not be a bitter person. This is a new goal of mine. But it sure is hard to hear people who have been trying for all of, oh, 3 months, be like "I finally got pregnant, OMG!" Try "finally" when you've been trying for a year and a half (or longer- someone out there will read this and be like, oh, honey, you've got nuttin' on me!). Try "finally" when you've said goodbye to two babies. Try "finally" when your chances of getting pregnant every month are cut in half because you only have one tube and you keep ovulating from that tubeless side! I am beyond ready for my "finally". My buddies are all pregnant, have beautiful bumps, and are planning their nurseries and getting ready for their new little ones- I am so anxious to join them! I can't believe how quickly this past year and a half has passed by- sometimes, I look back on it and want to cry, because I feel like I've wasted so much time, focusing on my lost babies and my struggle with infertility. I wish I could focus less on that, wish I could figure out how. But it is all consuming- my mind is constantly reverting to "If I get pregnant..." or "My babies should have been ____ old today" or whatever other invasive thoughts enter and won't leave!