Could this be it???

When I got home from work yesterday, I just couldn't resist POAS. As I sat there, staring at the test, waiting for 3 minutes to pass, I started to see something! I thought, no way, not a chance could this be really a positive test! I opened up the blinds so I could look at it under the bright light from outside- still just a really, really faint line! I keep looking, thinking, no, I have to be crazy! Then I bring the test to Steve and say "Ok, I need your opinion that I'm not crazy." That, of course, got a side-eye look, until he saw what was in my hand. Then, he's like, uh, what am I looking for? Men! Then again, I guess I can't blame him for not being an expert POAS analyzer! Anyways, I point to the T that shows where the test line is supposed to be... and after a moment, he said he saw it too! So I'm not crazy- I'm KNOCKED THE FUCK UP!!!! For those who would like to inspect the pictures themselves, I'll posted them below! Oh, and I tested again today- and there was NO question this time that there was a line, and it's actually pink!

Of course, my RE's office, while usually opened on Saturdays, is closed this weekend because the Dr. is out of town- isn't that just Murphy's law for you! So, I'll have to wait until Monday to get bloodwork drawn. Until then, however, I plan to POAS regularly, and hopefully watch that line get pinker and darker! It has been a year since I last got a positive pregnancy test- I suppose I should be cautious, and not get so excited, because if something happens, it's only going to set me up for greater dissapointment. But, damn it, I'm excited, and I already love this little bean and have faith that THIS is going to be our sticky, healthy little baby!

I've told my nesties the news, and my husband, of course. I'm not quite sure when I'll tell everyone else just yet- We'll probably tell our parents and siblings after we get good betas back and can rule out a chemical pregnancy or really early m/c. I don't think I'll tell work any time soon- I'm up for a full time contract next year, and would like to be offered that before I let them know that I'll be needing some maternity leave! It's going to be REALLY hard for me not to spill the beans to some of my co-workers! They've been such a support throughout this past year, putting up with my hormonal Clomid weeks and being there for me through both of my miscarriages. They've never been rude or asked stupid questions, they've just been there for me. I can't wait to tell Aiden, but I think he'll probably be the last to know. He was with us at the u/s last year when we found out we'd lost our second pregnancy. I think he's almost old enough now that he'd understand more, and I just don't want him to have to deal with that if I can help it.

Alright, without any further ado, my BFP pictures, for the sake of posterity (because I refuse to hold on to something that I peed on for a keepsake- this is what cameras were made for!)

Yesterday's test: Afternoon!

Inverted version- doesn't really help much, unless the pic is huge!

And this is yesterday's test (left) compared to today's test (right).

Stolen from another blog...

But thought this would be interesting to post here! I was given "permission" to steal it, and so I'm giving others permission to do the same! The bold faced items are the ones I have done in my life so far!

1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched lightning at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors (some of them, anyway)
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Ridden an elephant

Hmm... 46! I'm almost halfway there- though there are a few things on that list that I would be happy to never achieve!

Waiting...

Well, this month is at least a hopeful one- I'm hoping my RE is my lucky charm in getting pregnant! I finally ovulated on the right side, which is pretty well imparative to getting knocked up. We did a trigger shot to make sure I had a strong ovulation, and so that Steve and I could make sure things were "timed" just right.

But now, we wait. I am not a very patient person, I am finding. It is all I can do not to go to the Dollar Store, and buy a bunch of pregnancy tests and pee on them every day! Heck, if I peed on one right now, it would come back positive, because of the trigger shot- that is almost tempting, just because it's been so long since I've seen a positive pregnancy test (of my own, I mean) that I've just about forgotten what one looks like!

I've also discovered this month just how expensive infertility can be- and I'm at the "cheap" end still. Multiple ultrasounds, while lovely for telling you what is going on with your body, do not equal inexpensive! I just hope Clomid will work for us, so that we don't have to spend even more money on more expensive drugs! I need all the thoughts and prayers anyone can spare!