Happy Mother's Day!

What a difference a year makes! This has been a wonderful Mother's day, and while I received a wonderful gift from Aiden and Steve, and had a great breakfast with my family, and got to spend a little "me" time in the garden, those things aren't what made this day so great. What made this day fantastic is the knowledge that this year, rather than recovering from a D&C and the emotional pain of a miscarriage, I am instead carrying a baby that, God willing, is going to join our family in just 6 short months.

Last year was so difficult- I was not only mourning our most recent loss, but also the baby we had lost back in November. While I am eternally grateful for my sweet little man, and the blessing that God has given me to be able to be his mother, even today, I miss the two babies that God took with him to heaven. I don't think a Mother's day will ever pass that I won't think of Ethan and Hope. Hope would have been a year old in just a month... Ethan would have been 6 months.

One of my all time favorite character is Anne from Anne of Green Gables. In Anne's House of Dreams, she gives birth to a baby at dawn, but the baby doesn't make it, and passes away at dusk. While I have not lost a baby at full term, I can't imagine a more painful experince for a mother to have to go through. Yet, from that book, one quote stands out in my head that I keep dear to my heart- Anne, upon the birth of her second, healthy child, is told by a family member that "this baby will take place of the first". Anne replies that this baby is no replacement, but merely it's own person. She then goes on to say that she has followed her first baby through it's whole first year of life, watching her learn to sit up, and walk, and grow. I feel the same way about my babies- I will always have this vision of who they are to become in my mind, and I can watch them grow. When that day comes that I can see my babies in heaven, they won't be strangers to me, because I've been their mother, even though they're so far away.

So to all those mommies out there, whether your babies are in your arms, or just in your hearts, I wish the happiest of Mother's Day's to you.